Random

I keep thinking about this bit from an interview with Patti Smith in this Sunday's New York Times Magazine. She was asked if she ever feels lonely. She answered,

"Sometimes the pain still - the loss of my brother, the loss of Robert, the loss of my husband, even the loss of my children being children - we can access a lot of things that cause pain. This might seem really funny, but when I feel like that, I make myself smile. I just sit and physically make myself smile. Because sometimes it makes you laugh, and then you just go, 'All right.'"

Her comment about the loss of her children being children really hit me. As recorded in my previous post, I find it hard to reconcile how fast Sam is growing and changing. Even now, Karl and I jokingly refer to the time "when Sam was a tiny baby." One day I'll feel the pain of the loss of his childhood. I anticipate it even now and feel a twinge. The bittersweet tension between the love I feel for him and the heartbreak that love brings is deeply profound and makes me realize just how fine the line is between joy and pain. So, I suppose, I might as well smile the next time Sam brings me to tears.

Came across this website while researching something for work:

http://www.patriciapiccinini.net/wearefamily/index.php

Karl and I saw this woman's work the last time we were in New York. It's funny that I came across her stuff now as I still have a tendency to see Sam as a little creature. A far cuter creature than any of Piccinini's, but a creature nonetheless. (And, yes, sometimes I do feel a little like her beastly mamas - but only glancingly and only on the very bad days.)